Shitemail

Fuck Microsoft.

Everyone is well aware of Micro$oft’s position as the technological evil empire; and although I have always tended to agree, I have also been wary of the sort of puerile Microsoft bashing that seems to have become fashionable these days. I mean there’s nothing wrong with being wealthy and powerful per se- Bill Gates is actually a fairly heavyweight philanthropist. And Microsoft is an obvious target for techno vitriol.

My mind has been changed over the last few days however.

That other website that I mentioned in the last post was eBay and after what initially seemed like an unhelpful response, they understood the situation, and to cut a boring story short, got it sorted out pretty swiftly and with a minimum of hassle.

Hotmail on the other hand, who had initially seemed more responsive, have done a grand total of nothing to help me out in any way. As it stands, I still do not have access to my hotmail account and it’s looking increasingly likely that I never will.

I know that internet time ticks away somewhat faster than time in the real world (where four days couldn’t really be described as a long time) but when a total stranger has effectively stolen your online email address including it’s contents, four days kind of is a long time. And what have Hotmail done? Nothing. Total silence.

Here’s how it works…

Someone hacks my account. They change my password and my secret question.

I go round in circles trying to find how/where to report this to Hotmail. (To find out for yourself how close to impossible this is, go to the Hotmail site and try to contact them). Predictably, there is no earth address or phone number.

Hotmail suggest resetting my password by answering my secret question. Aaah, yes. The secret question that has been changed by the hacker.

I eventually figure out a roundabout way to contact their Customer Support because there is no specific course of action for account hijack.

I get a polite yet apparently automated response saying “We know this must be frustrating for you, blah blah blah… Please provide us with the following information…”

I struggle to remember some of the information requested. For example, the account was registered years ago, my address has changed and I have changed the password a few times etc. So I err on the side of caution and go to great lengths to provide my last three postcodes, my best estimate as to when the account was registered, what the what the previous passwords would have been and things like that. I also provide them with my home ip address and using all of my powers of recall, the number of emails in my inbox and who the most recent ten or so emails were actually from.

Silence from Hotmail.

Over the next few days, I email them a further three times politely explaining that this is a mildly stressful situation, could they please let me know how things are going/what is going to happen regarding getting my account back.

Hotmail ignore me for four and a half days.

They then send me a Customer Satisfaction Survey!!!