I am home again. Back in the land of bills and bank statements. And the flats in tip-top nick. Yay! Churminator even remembered to feed the fish. Either that or they've gone solar powered. The mail waiting for me wasn't even that scary. A safe return all round.

Venice was really good. It was very hot, like fucking cooking. It meant that you were constantly soaking in sweat from first thing in the morning until about ten o'clock at night when it cooled off a bit. Apparently it was much hotter than normal and even all the locals were freaking out. But after a few days it seemed almost normal to have really hot wet skin all day. Trish demanded that I buy some shorts which I was going to do anyway, but I drew the line at a pair of sandals. She wasn't impressed with the new level of nasal assault my trainers had achieved and kept going on about how she'd get me into a pair of sandals, claiming that 'my feet would thank me for it'. Well, I decided that since my feet haven't seen any sun at all since the late seventies that it might be asking a bit much of them to cope with suddenly being consummately scorched; and since they've never thanked me for anything up until now, I can only assume they'd be ungrateful anyway. So the adidas stayed put.

Apart from the heat it was a crazy place to navigate. Lots of canals obviously, and narrow streets and alleyways punctuated by lots of sort of small squares. My mental compass is fucked at the best of times so Lorna and Trish did most of the navigating and we got everywhere we needed to go eventually. We did quite a lot of walking which was pretty nuts because of the heat so sometimes we took the river taxis which we never paid for. And we pretty much lived on a diet of pizza/pasta, ice cream and beer. The ice cream and pasta was cheap and the best I've ever tasted. Ever. The beer was okay and the fags were dirt cheap.

The art was absolutely amazing. The old stuff that is. There are churches everywhere that you can pretty much just wander into and find yourself standing in front of something totally epic like a Titian altarpiece. The best one was called the Frari. And then there's the Accademia which blew my mind. It was fucking incredible. Those guys really knew how to make art. After a few hours you just start to get overwhelmed and leave with your head spinning. One of the best things I saw was an early Tiepolo that had an angel standing on a cloud taking a piss.

The Biennale was okay. There was some good stuff and some absolute shite. The Italian pavilion was pretty good. I saw some paintings by a Polish guy which I was really into. The Arsenale had some good things in it too. And there was a painting show which had a lot of big names ( Guston, Richter, Kippenberger, Rushka etc) and it was alright. I saw a Schnabel for the first time which was good but it was a plate painting and I don't really like them as much as the rest of his work. And then there was a lot of crap. It's safe to say the Scottish pavilion kicked the pants off most of it.

The Scottish party was a great laugh. It was outside in this big playground with free booze, loads of 'wegies and the Optimo DJs. Some nutty girl called Mu played and she was excellent but she was on early when the vibe was still a bit flat which was a bit of a shame. I managed to get drunk and danced on the stage. It's the first art opening I've ever been to where the booze didn't run out all night. It never even showed signs of running thin. So I took it upon myself to consume copious quantities of beer, whisky and red wine. Which worked. Then, I woke up the next morning without a hangover. Not even the slightest trace! It was actually uncanny; I woke up fresh as a daisy. Testimony to the therapeutic powers of sweating no doubt. Apparently Robert Johnson had me as odds on favourite to be the first person to drunkenly fall in a canal. As far as I know I didn't.

Highlights

Buying a pair of psychedelic cat pants
Punching a pigeon in Piazza San Marco
Stealing a 'Yoga Magic' ashtray
Buying a can of Hell Bier
Not getting a single mosquito bite while Lorna and Trish got eaten alive

Lowlights
Leaving Trish
Posted on Burning Salad on Wed 18th Jun, 6:13 am
http://www.gregorwright.com/salad/hey/12/