Fuck me, if I read another thing on the internet where someone is so bad at spelling that their putting the word they’re in the there sentence the wrong way three times in a row I’m going to cry and smash my computer.

I am so fed up of it it makes me want to explode. But everything has a context…

When I’m not reading Wikipedia (and occasionally laughing at it’s sometime questionable providence) or doing something else ‘worthwhile’ online, I’m surfing through, say, forums about videogames; something like that. Now I’m not going to make sweeping generalisations or jump to conclusions here- but you’ve got these kids who love to be all authoritative (and that’s fine if they have reason to be) but can barely string a sentence together. So you’re trying to talk about why Katamari Damacy is a genuine masterpiece and some grommet too young to know what a Commodore 64 is is either trying to prove that they know more than you (and proving that they don’t) or making a good job of saying not a single thing of any importance. And in both cases succeeding in using language like a chimp uses chop sticks to eat spaghetti.

Get a fucking dictionary you idiots! That’s right, you don’t read. Well book mark dictionary.com then. It’s not much, but it’s a start.

It’s not even like I don’t like Leet. I actually really like it and how it re-encodes language, but that’s a whole other story.

So I’ve invented a great new internet game. It’s really easy and you’ll like it if you’re like me and get really pissed off with bad use of language on the internet.

The game revolves around a few basic principles of internet forums:

1. Some members like to maintain an aloof persona.
2. Some members think they are really clever.
3. These people’s understanding of language is retarded. It really is. Retarded.

And the golden rule:

4. New forum members are not expected to rub anyone up the wrong way. In fact, if they do, all hell can break loose.

So, what I’m proposing is really just good old fashioned trolling. Here’s how to do it if you want to join in. And if you do, I salute you.

1. Find an internet forum frequented by smartypants.
2. Find a spelling mistake. It shouldn’t be hard.
3. Ensure that English is the mistaken’s first language. (This is important, it’s only fair. Obviously don’t ask them- check their profile or something.)
4. Sign up for the forum with the name CORRECTOR. (Depending on the atmosphere of the forum, you might opt for alternative spellings. KORRECKTOR, Correcteur etc.)
5. Draw attention to the spelling mistake in as few words as possible. This should be your first post. Subsequent post should only discuss language or correct mistakes. In both cases do so in as few words as possible, ignoring any hubbub the correction might have caused.

Okay, I’m going to go and do some corrections.