Today is my Dad’s birthday. Happy birthday old man!

He just turned 61. Which brings up the time honoured subject of age maths. Because I am 30. The more mathematically gifted will have it all worked out, but if, like me, numbers are to you what salt is to a slug, I’ll explain.

When I was 10, my dad was 40. So I was exactly a quarter of his age. For the last 6 months, I was 30 while he was 60. So I was exactly half his age. And, of course, if I make it to 60, and the old boy is still on the go- he’ll be 90… and I’ll be two thirds of his age.

This obviously means nothing because age maths, apart from not being an orthodox branch of mathematics (ask Stephen Hawking if you don’t believe me) is also thoroughly pointless in every other way. But still.