Orange

Like most people, one of my favourite pastimes is phoning call centres and waiting in call queues. It’s a great way to meet exciting new people and listen to music. Phoning up Orange to add credit to my phone is a real treat. It’s really quick and easy to do…

*450

Orange Robot Recording: Hello, you’re through to Orange. To top-up press 1…

*1

ORR: To top-up using a credit or debit card press 1…

*1

ORR: If you are topping-up the phone you are using, press 1…

*1

ORR: Now enter your four-digit id code followed by the hash key…

*XXXX #

ORR: Please hold…

ORR: Enter the last four digits of your nominated card followed by the hash key…

*XXXX #

ORR: Due to increased card security regulations, I’ll have to ask for some additional security information. Please enter the last three digits on the signature strip of your nominated card followed by the hash key…

* XXX

ORR: Thanks. I’m showing XXX. If that’s correct, press 1.

*1

ORR: Great! Now please enter just the numbers in the postcode of your card billing address followed by the hash key…

*XXX

ORR: Thanks, I’ve got XXX. If I’ve got that right press 1…

*1

ORR: We’re nearly done…

ORR: If you have any numbers in your billing address other than the post code, press 1…

*1

ORR: Great! Now enter just those numbers followed by the hash key…

*XXX #

ORR: Okay, other than the postcode I’m showing XXX as the number in your billing address. If I’ve got that right, press 1…

*1

ORR: How much would you like to top up? For five pounds press 1, for ten pounds press 2…

*2

ORR: I’m showing ten pounds. If this is correct, press 1…

*1

ORR: Great! I’m now going to whisper the script of James Cameron’s 1997 blockbuster Titanic in its entirety. When I’ve finished press 1…

***

…*1

ORR: I’m sorry. I’m unable to process your request at the moment. Goodbye.