Drinking Game

While I’m on the subject of games, I should tell you about another game I invented a while back. It came into being more or less spontaneously one evening during a heavy drinking session. Needless to say, it is somewhat more robust than the average parlour game. It is called The Commitments and here is how you play…

The Commitments is a two player game suitable for anyone aged 18 to 80. All of the necessary equipment is easily obtained any good off-licence; and is as follows-

A large bag of ice cubes. (Preferably a few).
Some plastic carrier bags.
At least one bottle of whisky per player.
A case of beer.

How to play The Commitments:

Drink the whisky.
Flip a coin to decide which player will face the first commitment. (This is Player 1).
From now on, both players should be in possession of a can of beer at all times.

Player 1 should position himself on the edge of a chair or other item of furniture with his hands at his sides at all times. (Unless he has to drink; and he probably will have to). He should then inhale as fully as possible, pushing his chest out as far as he can, at the same time tensing the muscles of his abdomen. (As if preparing for a blow to the torso).

Player 2 should stand to one side of Player 1, holding one end of the bag of ice in both hands. When he is satisfied that either Player 1 is prepared or it’s not worth waiting any longer, he should rotate slightly and lift the bag of ice up and back. (As if preparing to swing it wildly).

Player two should then assume as deep a voice as possible and sing, suddenly and loudly, the phrase “I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour”. He should then turn and swing the bag of ice cubes, bringing it across with a scything motion in a wide horizontal arc, and smash it with force into the chest of Player 1, somewhere between the sternum and the solar plexus. The impact should ideally be simultaneous with the last syllable of the ‘song’.

The players should then swap positions and continue until someone passes out from shock, fatigue or drunkenness or the ice melts. (Should the makeshift cudgel that is the bag of ice prematurely explode, simply scoop the ice cubes into a carrier bag and continue).

And that is how to play The Commitments.