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As of today, I’ve met both of the grannies. One said ‘Okay’ a lot. (okay, Okay!, OK, oh-kai…) And the other one said ‘Abara Cadabara’ amongst an onslaught of Dutch. Apparently to no effect, since nothing in the immediate vicinity either appeared from nowhere or suddenly vanished.
Jul 11, 2004 at 19:38 Filed Under: Blog Comment
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Also, while I remember, and just in case I do go AWOL-
If anyone is/is going to be London, my online Kiwi pal Matt Couper is in a show that’s opening tomorrow at the Jerwood Space.
Jul 9, 2004 at 12:08 Filed Under: Blog Comment
De Groete Van De ‘Dam
I had a good week in my studio (apart from the toxic plasticine fumes still emanating from the radiator). And today I find myself in Amsterdam. That’s right. I got up at four o’clock this morning, flew at about seven and arrived here a short while ago. First stop- an Irish Pub (the name of which escapes me); to see if a guy I met here last time is still kicking around. My Amsterdam connection as it were. I met him in the nameless Irish Pub where I was drinking Guinness when I recognised the Scottish accent. And as chance would have it he was from Prestwick, which is a small dull town only a few miles from the slightly larger, more violent and equally dull town from whence I originally hale. We both knew people who knew people who might have known people we both knew. So we drank more and more Guinness and had a few adventures over the course of a week.
Anyway, the girl at the bar said that he’s not been around for a year or so. And really, that’s pretty much a good thing…
A Crystal Meth and Magic Mushroom extravaganza would be nothing short of a faux pas. This time I am here to meet Trish’s grannies.
Jul 9, 2004 at 11:44 Filed Under: Blog Comment
blah
Something for the ‘To Do’ list
Jul 3, 2004 at 11:45 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Arcadia
I’ve also been messing around on my computer. The results are some fairly decent renditions of some classic video games. You can even save your high score right up here on the web. If you’re into that kind of thing.
Jul 2, 2004 at 12:23 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Hot Plasticine
I’ve been back in my studio for a while now which accounts for the neglect Burning Salad has suffered of late.
Sometimes it’s better to stop being in the studio every day because you start to get a bit cranky. The solution is to stop. Get some mental space. Walk a lot. Maybe make some work not in the studio.
The result is that you start climbing the walls (even when outdoors) and this is a sure fire sign that you should get back into the studio immediately. So that’s what’s happened.
The Burning Salad-worthy events that I have gone undocumented are many and varied but alas, to commit them all to the Salad now is beyond the scope of my powers of regurgitation. Having said that, it is worth noting the following…
Plasticine is easily made more malleable by heating on a radiator for a short time. When the popular craft material has reached a certain (relatively low) temperature it will soon turn into a viscous liquid. This liquid is not only hot to the touch but will cause fairly severe burns if any attempt at modelling is made. Not only is this plasticine fluid almost impossible to remove it also produces noxious fumes that are no doubt better left uninhaled. It was like I had been attacked with pink napalm.
The cat has got an odd habit of licking the sofa. Not just a casual cat-like preening gesture on an item of furniture- it’s more like a full blown fetish. Whenever he’s doing the rounds (destroying the plants, eating all paper within reach, slashing onlookers) he always attacks the sofa by lifting up part of the pretty Ikea fabric we’ve chucked over it and licking it like it’s a limited-edition, tuna and duck flavoured Whiskas tribute sofa. It makes a loud rasping sound that can’t be ignored but is easily laughed at. This activity can last up to five minutes. I though he would eventually get bored and stop doing it but he seems to be really getting into it these days. Like he’s perfecting his technique.
Jul 2, 2004 at 12:14 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Cab
I’ve recently realised that the best mini cab drivers in Glasgow are the Asian guys. Not in terms of their knowledge of the highway code, which like all mini cab drivers seems to be an attitude of conscientious objection. It’s just that they’re always very entertaining. I have on numerous occasions, amongst other things, been told ghost stories, very un-PC jokes, offered cigarettes, Cheesy Wotsits and told how to chip a mobile phone.
So last night I got a mini cab home and the driver was a big Asian guy. The first thing I said was ‘Nice car’ (because it clearly was) and fast as lightning he said in a Glaswegian accent ‘Itsnoafuckincaritsamercedes’. So the journey home was a highly entertaining one. Amongst other things he told me that he was seven feet tall. Which looked looked like it was true. (I myself am pushing the envelope of normal proportion at 6′ 4″ and this guy was way bigger, all folded up in his Merc). And apparently his grandfather is not only the ripe old age of eighty five years old but also stands seven and a half feet tall.
Jun 22, 2004 at 11:46 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Stats
Here is an excerpt from my pal Jamie‘s web stats.
Jun 17, 2004 at 22:58 Filed Under: Blog Comment
346 miles, 8 ounces of glitter
That last hangover was caused in part by going to Stereo to see Uncle John And Whitelock and Park Attack, and compounded by going back to Danny and Claire’s place afterwards where I drank whisky and ranted into the wee small hours. Needless to say the result was yet another existential fiasco of the mind the next day.
No sooner had this subsided than I had to get up early on Monday morning and catch a plane. And so by half past seven in the am, I was in London. Amazingly by half past seven pm, I was on my way home. The part in between involved gluing glitter to record decks. It’s a Lambie thing.