Bad News
What a strange few days. First the whole G8 build-up, with a mixture of partying and tension, then yesterday London goes wild after beating the odds to get the 2012 Olympics… and now today, a terrorist attack.
It reminded me of how long things have been relatively stable in Britain. I remember watching the news when I was growing up, when it wasn’t uncommon for the IRA to extend their bombing campaign to London. Britain basically had a terrorist guerilla war on it’s doorstep long before the ‘War On Terror’ was announced.
The world is a harsh and messed up place as it is, without idiots who think that the best way to point this out is to murder ordinary people. It’s disgusting.
I hope that everyone who tunes into Burning Salad from London town is safe and well.
Jul 7, 2005 at 20:33 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Burger Time
On my way into my studio today I ended up in McDonalds. I don’t eat burgers very often which means that when I do, my internal organs don’t mind too much and I don’t suffer any sort of burger guilt. I just enjoy it’s cartoon quality impression of being food and go about my business.
But today I got distracted. During the wait for my fast food I noticed that McDonalds, in their effort to divert attention away from the fact that they might as well be selling re-heated dung, have installed computer terminals in their branches. So I bought my burger, paid for a token and perched myself in front of one of the screens. I didn’t have any real need to be online while eating a burger but I thought I might as well check my email or something. And that’s when I realised that McDonalds grasp of technology was about as sophisticated as their understanding of cuisine.
What I am referring to is the absence of a mouse. Or a trackball. Or any other way of using the terminal apart from… a touch screen. That’s right, the computers in McDonalds have got touch screens! Maybe they didn’t read the manual properly. They must have skipped the appendix that explained how the conceptual foundation of touch-screen technology is the requirement to physically touch the screen. Now, I’m not squeamish or a germ paranoiac, but anyone who has ever eaten a Big Mac will recall that the cheese is like runny plastic, the meat substitute weeps some kind of liquid and those other things in it are just slimy.
I was completely confounded. I sat for a minute enjoying my tasty burger, wondering what to do. In the end I found a particularly rigid chip* and used it as a makeshift stylus.
Da da da da da, I’m lovin’ it.
* French fry. (That’s ‘Freedom fry’, warmongers).
Jul 5, 2005 at 0:41 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Politically Incorrect
Somehow or other I managed to miss a lot of the Live 8 gig on tv on Saturday. I did manage to tune in in time to see Madonna doing her thing and shouting, “Are you fucking ready?”, which according to today’s paper, got 354 complaints. So it just goes to show that while Africa remains in a bad way (‘fucked’ if you will) and despite the effort to bring attention to the issue, some people still prefer to be offended by one of the oldest, best and most versatile words in the English language. Dear me.
And it seems as if things have started to kick off in Edinburgh ahead of Wednesday’s G8 clown convention. There was footage on the news tonight that I only really saw in passing but could be described in broad, inaccurate terms as cops beating hippies in submission. So who knows what’s going to happen in two days time. Apart from some kind of progress on the way the West treats Africa, I’ve got to be honest and say that George Bush choking on a stray golf ball is quite far up my wish list.
Jul 4, 2005 at 23:45 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Egg
When was the last time you laughed out loud at a recipe? I’m quite tempted to try and make an enormous scotch egg.
Jul 1, 2005 at 2:33 Filed Under: Blog Comment
A Book
I meant to mention this sooner, but Jamie has written a picaresque novel. Sales have probably dropped back into quadruple figures, so you should get your copy now while you still can.
Jul 1, 2005 at 2:14 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Lungs
The radio was on in my studio today and there was someone going on about how they’ve done some research and found out that passive smoking is twice as bad as they first thought.
The thing is, I actually think that smokers are evolutionary pioneers. It’s a simple equation: given enough time, smokers keep on smoking, cancer weeds out the bad genes and humanity is left with smoke-proof lungs. Ergo, smokers are the only ones actually taking a truly proactive stance on the whole health issue.
Anyway, the people on the radio were saying how passive smoking is twice as bad as they first thought and they were talking in detail about how they measured this and blah blah blah. And I was thinking what would happen if they kept researching and they kept finding out that passive smoking was in fact worse than they had previously calculated. And what would happen if they finally concluded that passive smoking was worse than actually smoking. The whole argument would break down and governments would be forced to either completely ban smoking (for real) or encourage everyone to smoke. Both of which scenarios would be an improvement. None of this fucking around in the middle ground… it’s evil and we won’t let you do it anywhere but we will sell you them and we’re really concerned about your health.
My tobacco plant in full bloom. It would appear than when tobacco plants flower, they look as if they’re smoking.
Jul 1, 2005 at 1:25 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Come On Tim!
I haven’t really watched much of Wimbledon this year but it seems, unsurprisingly, that Tim Henman is one step closer to achieving his boyhood dream of crashing out of the tournament a record number of times. Poor Hen Man. I think he just needs to relax a bit, forget about what his mum thinks about his haircut, take up smoking as a leisure activity and play better tennis. That’s what I would tell him if I were his tennis coach.
Tim, if you are reading this (and I know that you probably are) don’t worry, there’s always next year- and the year after. And the year after that. In fact, your best years for crashing out of Wimbledon are probably still ahead of you.
Jun 29, 2005 at 22:52 Filed Under: Blog Comment
blah
The whole site here just came within 14 minutes off dropping off the web because I almost completely forgot to renew my virtual server hosting.
I’ll write something more interesting than this when I’m not so tired.
Jun 29, 2005 at 0:27 Filed Under: Blog Comment
Beyond, Beneath, Behind
I got back from Munich yesterday morning. So I was only really there for Thursday afternoon, all day Friday and, well, all night Friday.
On Thursday night I went to a few openings on the back of Ben’s motorbike and drank some beer.
Then on Friday I went to the Haus der Kunst which is a sort of monumental, neoclassical building built by the Third Reich. There was a really big Paul McCarthy show on there which was pretty good- but Mr. McCarthy’s work was up to it’s usual intense standards and my hung-over brain could only handle an hour or so. So I went to a beer garden or two and drank fine German beer in the sun.
Then I went down to the opening of the show which looked good. And drank some wine. Then on to someone’s house and drank some more. Then on to a pub where I intended to stay until it was time to leave for the airport. Which I almost managed. Unfortunately I had completely forgotten to account for the German measures of beer and so I maxed out sometime in the wee small hours. I tried my best and fought the urge to sleep by drinking whisky… but to no avail. I was woken up with a glass of water a few hours later, with about 4 minutes to catch the S-Bahn. And so for the Nth time I made my flight with minutes to spare.